[It's unfortunate that Damian already knows Izuku too well. A challenge? Check. Mentions of friendship? Check. All that means is Izuku falls for it, hook line and sinker.]
We'll make ten. If we're doing this for the quest, then we should give it our all! [Doing their best... with dick pumpkins. Either way it looks like Izuku's all fired up now.
...mostly he's just still stunned and happy that Damian admitted they were friends. Out loud, even.]
Nevermind about the proclamation of friendship, dweeb. Damian will still deny it vehemently regardless, say he only said it to get Izuku to stay and participate. They're Izuku's friend, but he never said anything about Izuku being theirs!! (His!) Anyway, saying it off-handedly in the middle of other things is fine. No one will notice.]
Hurry up and sit down then, idiot.
[Reaching around his own pumpkin, he slides a freshly gutted one over to Izuku.]
We've already knocked one out of the way. You're behind, and I'm not sure if you can catch up before we're finished.
[Izuku eyes Damian. He knows what you're doing, trying to goad him like that, but he sits down anyway.]
I don't think anyone could beat you at speed, Strider-kun. [It takes a second for this all to sink in, once he has the pumpkin in front of him. Oh...he signed up to carve dick pumpkins. That definitely just happened.
But...he's already invested, so there's no backing out of this. Izuku picks up the knife, a blush already creeping up his face, and begins to work.]
[Perfect. Damian grins to himself (and maybe also to Dave) as Izuku starts on the pumpkin with the most embarrassed face in the world.
This is the most immature thing he's done in a long time, but he doesn't even care. As long as Guren suffers some small amount of irritation, Damian will resort to childish, boyish pranks without scoffing.
[As if that explains everything. He takes the pumpkin slid down to him and positions it in front of himself so he can begin dubious work. How many pumpkins were harmed in the making of all of these disasters?]
Spray paint graffiti. [No spray paint.] Egging his car. [No car.] Toilet papering his house. [Sigh. No 24 count rolls of Charmin.
Is Damian exaggerating just to see Izuku's reaction? Maybe.]
Putting shaving cream in one of his hands and tickling his face while he's asleep.
[If Damian was waiting for his reaction, he'll get it soon enough. Izuku pulls a face.] That sounds like a waste of eggs and toilet paper.
[Especially now, when supplies are scarce in Chroma.]
If we tried to tickle him, I don't think we'd make it out of the room alive. [It's said as solemnly as one can.] And we'd have to sneak past Dextera-san, too.
Leliel is who we'd need to worry about getting past. [Dextera never goes anywhere without that damn chicken. And she would definitely start clucking happily seeing any of the three of them.] Ichinose typically sleeps light, but he would be easier to accost at the present.
He hasn't been sleeping enough. When he does doze, it's heavier than normal. As long as our methods were quick and extremely quiet, we could do it.
He hasn't been taking care of himself again. [Izuku looks extremely disapproving of that.] If only we had something that could make him knock out for a few hours, then he'd actually get the sleep he needs.
[Wait, why are they talking about this like they're actually going to try anything??]
I'm pretty sure Dextera-san is still in his own house, but I think he sleeps over often enough. [Izuku scratches at his cheek, ignoring the way his face heats up.] I might've... accidentally walked in on them before.
[Dave thinks he's behind? Damian doesn't even know they're a couple. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE A THING!!]
There were fairy wings received from one of the quests. Dextera brought me one which caused blindness. [He also has one, but... he doesn't know what it does yet because he refuses to touch it to find out.] Do you know if anyone received one with a sleep effect?
[Out of the corner of his eyes, he glances at Izuku.] You walked in on them? [His eyes shift over to Dave. Did Dave know something he didn't, too?]
[GETTING BUSY... Honestly, Damian actually looks kind of mortified by the idea. Like seeing someone in a brand new light. Izuku claims it was just sharing a bed, and now, even the son of the World's Greatest Detective is confused.
Sometimes, he and Jon share a bed, begrudgingly, but that doesn't mean they're an item??
For a long moment, Damian just stares at Izuku's red, mostly hidden face, and then he looks up at Dave. It's falling together like dominos. It's been six months, and he had not even an ounce of inkling. Amazing.]
They are. [Now, Izuku looks a bit more excited, even straightening up like he's got something interesting to tell.]
I think even the town knows it somehow. They both got this embroidered heart thing as a quest reward once. [He's just grinning at this point.] I haven't seen anyone else get that before--I think it's just them.
[Well, all this gossip talk is at least helpful in taking Izuku's attention away from his embarrassment. He sets his first pumpkin down.] Done. Can you hand me another one, Strider-kun?
[WHAT THE FUCK. He's supposed to be Robin. He's supposed to be aware of everything, and look at this horseshit right in front of his face!! ROMANCE. He's sitting at the damn table with two halves of sparkly gay couples gossiping about another one, and he's none the wiser!!!
Honestly, he's embarrassed...]
Are you serious? [He doesn't sound stunned by the gayness so much as he JUST DIDN'T KNOW. (But now he does, so look out Guren.)] Are we talking about the same Ichinose here?
Guren Ichinose, lieutenant colonel of the Japanese Imperial Demon Army?
Well, yeah, has to be. Ain't like we got two Gurens like we do Johns. [ or jons. however you want to spell your best friend's name, i guess!! ] ...I wonder how in the fuck that happened, though. I guess maybe they hung out a lot because adults?
I didn't get the details... not that sensei would tell me anyway. [Izuku smiles lopsidedly.] He's more likely to give me a noogie and tell me how it's none of my business.
[Starting on another pumpkin now... somewhat distractedly.]
Now that I think about it, a lot of people have been pairing off while we're stuck here.
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does he...
We'll make ten. If we're doing this for the quest, then we should give it our all! [Doing their best... with dick pumpkins. Either way it looks like Izuku's all fired up now.
...mostly he's just still stunned and happy that Damian admitted they were friends. Out loud, even.]
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Nevermind about the proclamation of friendship, dweeb. Damian will still deny it vehemently regardless, say he only said it to get Izuku to stay and participate. They're Izuku's friend, but he never said anything about Izuku being theirs!! (His!) Anyway, saying it off-handedly in the middle of other things is fine. No one will notice.]
Hurry up and sit down then, idiot.
[Reaching around his own pumpkin, he slides a freshly gutted one over to Izuku.]
We've already knocked one out of the way. You're behind, and I'm not sure if you can catch up before we're finished.
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[ though he doesn't seem to be cheating and using super speed.
yet?
dave grins, a flicker of an expression, as he twirls his knife again. ]
Time to put your true artistry to the test, Midoriya.
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I don't think anyone could beat you at speed, Strider-kun. [It takes a second for this all to sink in, once he has the pumpkin in front of him. Oh...he signed up to carve dick pumpkins. That definitely just happened.
But...he's already invested, so there's no backing out of this. Izuku picks up the knife, a blush already creeping up his face, and begins to work.]
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This is the most immature thing he's done in a long time, but he doesn't even care. As long as Guren suffers some small amount of irritation, Damian will resort to childish, boyish pranks without scoffing.
Eat a dick pumpkin, Ichinose.]
I'm ready for another one, Strider.
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they clearly have this down to a science. good god. ]
This is gonna be the best thing ever, since like. Certain other "tricks" are straight out without more supplies...
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What other "tricks" were you two even considering?
[Meanwhile, he's still working on his dick carving...this is the worst.]
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[As if that explains everything. He takes the pumpkin slid down to him and positions it in front of himself so he can begin dubious work. How many pumpkins were harmed in the making of all of these disasters?]
Spray paint graffiti. [No spray paint.] Egging his car. [No car.] Toilet papering his house. [Sigh. No 24 count rolls of Charmin.
Is Damian exaggerating just to see Izuku's reaction? Maybe.]
Putting shaving cream in one of his hands and tickling his face while he's asleep.
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[ guren would Murder Them ]
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[Especially now, when supplies are scarce in Chroma.]
If we tried to tickle him, I don't think we'd make it out of the room alive. [It's said as solemnly as one can.] And we'd have to sneak past Dextera-san, too.
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Leliel is who we'd need to worry about getting past. [Dextera never goes anywhere without that damn chicken. And she would definitely start clucking happily seeing any of the three of them.] Ichinose typically sleeps light, but he would be easier to accost at the present.
He hasn't been sleeping enough. When he does doze, it's heavier than normal. As long as our methods were quick and extremely quiet, we could do it.
Barring the poultry queen and Dextera.
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[ he's. behind on his guren/dextera gossip okay. ]
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[Wait, why are they talking about this like they're actually going to try anything??]
I'm pretty sure Dextera-san is still in his own house, but I think he sleeps over often enough. [Izuku scratches at his cheek, ignoring the way his face heats up.] I might've... accidentally walked in on them before.
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There were fairy wings received from one of the quests. Dextera brought me one which caused blindness. [He also has one, but... he doesn't know what it does yet because he refuses to touch it to find out.] Do you know if anyone received one with a sleep effect?
[Out of the corner of his eyes, he glances at Izuku.] You walked in on them? [His eyes shift over to Dave. Did Dave know something he didn't, too?]
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[ dave waggles his eyebrows, so it's PRETTY CLEAR what he means. ...has he ever once considered damian's age EVER when saying shit around him.
no ]
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No, nothing like that! [Thankfully, or he'd probably never be able to look Guren or Dextera in the eyes again.] They were just sharing the bed.
[Still, the embarrassment lingers, and Izuku hunches slightly over his pumpkin, carving with a newfound enthusiasm as he turns even redder.]
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Sometimes, he and Jon share a bed, begrudgingly, but that doesn't mean they're an item??
For a long moment, Damian just stares at Izuku's red, mostly hidden face, and then he looks up at Dave. It's falling together like dominos. It's been six months, and he had not even an ounce of inkling. Amazing.]
Are they dating?
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[ IZUKU, DO YOU HAVE GOSSIP... ]
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I think even the town knows it somehow. They both got this embroidered heart thing as a quest reward once. [He's just grinning at this point.] I haven't seen anyone else get that before--I think it's just them.
[Well, all this gossip talk is at least helpful in taking Izuku's attention away from his embarrassment. He sets his first pumpkin down.] Done. Can you hand me another one, Strider-kun?
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Honestly, he's embarrassed...]
Are you serious? [He doesn't sound stunned by the gayness so much as he JUST DIDN'T KNOW. (But now he does, so look out Guren.)] Are we talking about the same Ichinose here?
Guren Ichinose, lieutenant colonel of the Japanese Imperial Demon Army?
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[Starting on another pumpkin now... somewhat distractedly.]
Now that I think about it, a lot of people have been pairing off while we're stuck here.
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There's more than just those two? Who--the girl you know and the Money Goose idiot. I know those two at least.
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Izuku's datin' Shouto.
[ sorry izuku ]
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Strider-kun, don't you have something else to add?
[Firing right back at you!!]
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