[ It's not exactly how Binghe envisioned any of this to go down. In his mind he pointed out he was okay, that he got out okay and everything was fine. Somehow it seems to have made an accusatory impact and slowly but surely Luo Binghe understands he's losing control of this entire conversation. No matter how hard he tries it seems to be the wrong thing to say and it's only compounded by Shen Qingqiu's announcement that he's going to leave.

Why? Why is this so difficult? How is it that two grown adults can't seem to speak what is on their minds? Everyone that claimed to know Shen Qingqiu all said the same thing; that Shen Qingqiu spoke highly of Luo Binghe, cared for him almost. Right now it's hard to believe anyone could believe that, could be so deluded to think that someone who feels they have to leave a town just to give someone some space could say such beautiful words.

They must have been lying, there's simply no other way to look at it right now and Binghe's eyes widen at the announcement and the immediate retraction of said words.

It's....kind of an improvement? In a way Binghe was half expecting his Shizun to go diving out of the open window. It wouldn't be the first time!]

If you've taken offence at what was said, then don't. This one was trying to say that despite it being a long couple of years, I was able to get through it and walk out in the end. If the time is right then I don't think I have done that yet where you are from? It was only meant to be a reassurance.

[ Binghe would never believe his comments are being misinterpreted into something more heinous, he doesn't understand that the idea he's going to kill his master is so deeply ingrained into Shen Qingqiu's psyche that anything he does will come across as having some kind of a double meaning. By this point he could offer rainbows and there'd be the belief of some sinister intent behind it.

The comment about the abyss catches Binghe's full attention again, eyes flicking back over Shen Qingqiu's face to catch his expression. Despite the (usual) worry there nothing else seems different and Binghe holds a sigh of his own back. He'd been quietly hoping that someone would say something about what happened but it seems there's simply nothing to say. What happened obviously happened for the exact reason stated at the time. Nothing more, nothing less. How stupid of Binghe to wonder otherwise!]

Others with me...? [ The way brows furrow makes Binghe's confusion plain for all to see.] There are some who follow but there are not many who talk much. They only listen.

[ Brides, such a foreign concept Binghe would never have believed it even if Shen Qingqiu said it out loud. Women are so not on Binghe's radar that those in his life are constantly baffled as to how they can't snag his attention, or were - they undoubtedly have figured out Binghe's own preferences before he has.]

They do, but... [ Binghe isn't sure as to why, but then ever since he'd come back from the Abyss and run into Shen Qingqiu it's felt like he barely knows which direction he should be going in. There's an idea and he follows that, but for the most part it's a big question mark right now.]

So. Have the last few months been good to Shizun? Even if you have no friends, has it been okay?

[ Whatever answer happened would have gotten some kind of reaction. If the answer had been one of happiness then Luo Binghe wouldn't have minded at all; only his vinegar would have substantially spilled further, probably to the town outskirts itself. But the answer he gets is like a sucker punch to the guts, words that instantly do the opposite of intentions and have Binghe fretting.

Have people been mean to his Shizun? Has this place truly been that awful? Despite a lack of colour for the most part it looks...average on the chaotic scale but then again Binghe knows his idea of chaotic and someone else's will always differ wildly. Even though he can't sense anything, was this place demonic in nature? Was that why Shen Qingqiu was so unhappy here?]

Why? You talk to people here. What is making you miserable?

[ Not like Luo Binghe can comment on that. He's seen the messages on the forum and not a hint of it is showing in person. Naturally there's been a mistake, again, and it's taking everything in Binghe to just not throw the table and head outside to punch the nearest stationary objects to pieces. Even his knuckles go white again under the table, teeth clenching as the half-demon swallows down the urge to scream.]

[ Nothing makes sense and Binghe still wonders if this place is some nightmare-ish dreamscape that he's unable to figure out. It's not probable that such a thing could happen but it's definitely not completely impossible. Talk to Shen Qingqiu they had said, he's sorry and thinks the world of you were other mutterings. Yet now as they sit here all Luo Binghe can get out of the other is simply a cordial conversation where nothing much is said despite the words used. It's better than nothing, by all means Shen Qingqiu could have made a run for it but for once Binghe can't help but let the frustration on his face start to show, brows furrowing as he heaves a sigh.

What is this? What is any of this? Why waste everyone's time in such a way? At the end of it all the whole lot of it boils down to the simple facts that Shen Qingqiu detests demons and will always do his best to try and get away. It doesn't matter how many meals Binghe cooks or how often or nice he is to everything and everyone around him. In Shen Qingqiu's eyes he's nothing more than a monster that belongs at the bottom of the Endless Abyss. He can't even share what makes him miserable, giving what sounds like a half-assed excuse to not answer and that's before Luo Binghe takes into consideration the sheer amount of conflicting information he's getting. The correct answer (the one that makes most sense) is simply that Shen Qingqiu is lying; that he's not sorry for throwing his student into the Abyss and he simply says it to save face. But then no-one here would know? Why bring it up only to lie?

He wants to scream, to yell and thrash until the emotions fade away. Why bother with this when it did nothing but bring anguish and pain to Luo Binghe's chest?? Binghe wants to punch something solid until his knuckles bleed, exhausting himself until he can barely bother to give it all a second thought before slipping into a dream to distract himself until the next day. But that's too easy, isn't it? Not only are those things almost a necessity but so is sitting opposite the person who currently means most to him. Nothing in their world or this one can even compare and so what if they're just sitting and talking, it's better than nothing. It's better than being completely exiled by the other. That's what will happen soon enough when Shen Qingqiu finds out about the people in cages, about the old master of Huan Hua Palace or even about other things. Binghe wouldn't be shocked if Shen Qingqiu could find an Abyss in this place to throw him into.

He rubs his forehead slowly, ignoring how his eyes begin to sting at the corners. He's not going to cry, not today or at least not in front of his teacher. Everything is exhausting and exhilarating at once and Luo Binghe is at a loss on how to fix it.]

You don't want to go home but this place makes you miserable. Everyone says how great Shizun is and how kind, yet you claim they're lying. Since when did you start speaking in such riddles? Tsk.

[ Maybe going to sleep for a week will be considered acceptable, anything to escape the madness that seems to be going on here. It would be an easier way to deal with things but it would also be considered giving up and only by that merit alone does Binghe bother to stay conscious for the next while.

Still, Shen Qingqiu still appears to be denying it all and Binghe vehemently shakes his head.]

No. But people here say that you are their friend, that you care and love them. Then Shizun simply says they are lying, but why would they lie? [ Binghe pauses, a sense of dread skittering down his spine.] But why would you lie? That is why it's hard to follow!

[ And if it's the truth, if Shen Qingqiu has those he loves in this place then why can he not spare some for his student? How long does he have to watch Shen Qingqiu doting on others and wishing he was in that exact same spot? The anxiety over such a thing is relentless at it's best and Binghe drags a hand over his face, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm his temper. No fighting, no tears!]

If you hate this disciple so much then why is are you sitting right there? [ Oh shit. Binghe looks instantly mollified, wishing he could take those words back. That's just asking for it! That just gives Shen Qingqiu the opening he's been waiting for where he takes his leave!]

Forget it. I spoke out of turn. If Shizun wishes for more congee then please say so.

[ No reason to act like he did? What was that supposed to mean? Everything right now is so tense Binghe feels like he could cut it with a knife. Was this Shen Qingqiu's way of saying that things would never be allowed to go back to how they were? That they would never be student and teacher again? Just thinking about it sends a chill down his spine as Luo Binghe grits his teeth in an attempt not to cry. This is the worst! Whose idea was it to have a meeting like this anyway??

The comment about not hating is a strange one and enough to temporarily distract the half-demon from his internalised woes.]

You think you don't, but you do. It's your job to.

[ It's said with a matter of fact tone, as if it's something Luo Binghe has told himself every day for eternity. No matter what happened it would always come down to that; Binghe could be off saving the world and the Peak Lords would still take issue with it. It's a conflicting state to be in. How to fix it? Sure the logical way to fix such things would be to just let go of Shen Qingqiu, to just give up and let things flow away in time. But there's the temptation to lock the door, the windows, to tell Shen Qingqiu he can stay forever! If there are no Peaks to be Lords of then surely it wouldn't be his job to hate anymore!]

Why do you think there is no reason?? I don't understand why Shizun would think that.

[ What is that question meant to be? Binghe racks his brain, trying to actually think of times that his teacher has wronged him. It's difficult to think of any, if only because in the young man's own mind any wrong that may have happened would have inadvertently been caused by himself. Tea poured on him? Obviously he'd missed some kind of custom. Kicked into the abyss? Well, Shizun wouldn't have done it if Binghe hadn't been half demon. The room falls silent as he thinks it through, hand idly rubbing above his heart in a subconscious gesture of thinking.

Why wouldn't he speak kindly with Shen Qingqiu? Certainly there had been words spoken, tense moments shared when they'd first run into each other again. But that had been a weird time for everyone involved! ]

What great wrongs? It's confusing to think Shizun believes there have been many.

[ There's that feeling of missing something again, of some unspoken thing between them that lies just out of grasp. Binghe is going to put it down to the time gap yet even with that in mind it doesn't feel quite right.

Is...is this a test?

He huffs audibly, folding his arms as Binghe lifts his chin in a defiant motion. ]

I don't speak kindly to anyone unless I want to.

[ It's almost comedic in how Shen Qingqiu manages to take what is blatantly said and misconstrue the words. If Luo Binghe had any idea what was going through his teacher's mind he would work harder to phrase things in a better way, but ignorance is bliss, if not confusing as hell and it's all Binghe can do to try and keep up with the conversation.

No apology to give? Thinking if he has done wrong? Certainly there's one thing that does stand out in Binghe's mind that could be considered wrong, but he doesn't dare ask about it. Not yet. If he does then there's no reason as to why his teacher wouldn't disown him, too starkly reminded as to why he did such a thing in the first place. ]

[ No, it's better this way, safer and even if it means things feel a little strange then Luo Binghe will accept it.

For now. ]

Does Shizun think there is something that needs to be apologised for?

[ Yes! Perfect! Binghe is already mentally patting himself on the back for such an answer. It's the kind that should get an answer without being accusatory, right? Right? If this is a test then he's surely done well enough in it by keeping things on an even(ish) keel. Shen Qingqiu hasn't run away yet and he's still very much alive. ]

This one doesn't think so, not really. Not unless Shizun wishes to.

[ Nope, Luo Binghe just doesn't seem to be able to follow this conversation. The mood in the room seems to swing from one extreme to the next and no matter how many times Binghe believes himself to be on top of the conversation it just gives him the slip.

Which is why when his teacher mentions going out of his way, Luo Binghe simply shakes his head. ]

There has been no going out of the way.

[ Still, he's not going to tell Shen Qingqiu to not apologise; if it's something the other feels he has to say then so be it. Luo Binghe lapses into silence, wondering just what he's meant to be doing. This place is apparently about building bonds with people? Restoring colour? Yet here he is barely able to hold a conversation with his own teacher! That and said teacher is starting to look unwell to boot.

The topic needs to change. Even Luo Binghe can tell that this whole thing is going nowhere and eventually it will end up with Shen Qingqiu making a run for it. ]

Hm. This place is strange and the people within it are stranger still. Does Shizun like it here?