awashlogs | [Quests | Closed Prompts | Open Catchall] I wish all my weaknesses could be hidden

Entry tags:

[Quests | Closed Prompts | Open Catchall] I wish all my weaknesses could be hidden

Who: Rin, closed prompts but also open for quests and general shenanigans

Where: The whoooole town
When: December
What: Getting his color back, slamming in to some quests and whatever else happens
Warnings: Will updated as needed?

[I'm open for anything, quests or otherwise. Hit me up on plurk (

rubberfaceokumura ) or on Discord at Rin#0768 ! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well ... I hate to put it this way, but there's not a lot of ways to continue your exorcist training in this place, right?

I know you have the cafe, but maybe you can also do something with animals while you're here too.

No, its fine, I know that. I've been keepin' up with my sword work here thanks to the Defense Force but there ain't anyone here who can do all the book lessons and whatever.

[She had a good point, but there is something else that's weighing on him in regards to his training.]

And... honestly... I might not even be able to continue it when I make it back anyway.

[ Uh-oh, he isn't looking so good. Kohaku's smile falls a little. ]

Why not?

[Rin's expression darkened, a finger reaching out to rub Ayame's cheek as if reassuring himself that she was still there.]

The last thing I was doin'... was runnin' away from the Order with Yukio.

[ Oh. You need fluffy kitten more than she does right now, so she takes a seat next to him and gives Ayame back to him. ]

What happened? Do you want to talk about it?

[He takes Ayame carefully, though his gaze is clearly elsewhere. He pets her absently as he talks quietly.]

They said he shot the headmaster of our school, and that he had... had Satan's flames. They had him arrested and were probably gonna put him under a whole bunch of tests and I just--

[A hard swallow.]

I couldn't let him suffer like that.

Edited 2019-01-14 04:26 (UTC)

[ She listens, her own expression falling into an understanding, but painful one of her own. Kohaku puts an arm around his waist, scooting in a little to rest her head on his shoulder. ]

I understand. If it were my brother, I'd probably do everything I could to make sure he was safe. He'd do the same for me ...

[ Actually, he has been doing the same for her. All of her life, but especially in the last few months or so before she came here. ]

[He's... quiet. Almost too quiet. What she said warranted something, a response or further explanation, anything but his silence and yet he doesn't make a noise for a good half a minute.

After that long, long pause though, he admits in a thick voice:]

I don't think he would do the same for me.

[ Hearing that breaks her heart. Siblings are supposed to look out for each other, right? Especially if you're the only family you've got ...

It's hard for her to think of what to say in response. She doesn't want to make him feel bad, or insult someone she's never met, but ... Rin was someone she'd become very protective of, and she herself was very close with her brother. She couldn't imagine Hisui not being there for her when she needed it. ]

It sounds like you're the better person, then ... And the better brother.

[ It's quiet, but ... She couldn't just say nothing. ]

It didn't... it wasn't always like this. When we were little I was always there for him, but he started trainin' as an exorcist without me knowin' and I guess... I mean, that changes anybody, right? And I get it - he wanted to be strong enough to stand on his own. Even after Dad died he was upset and stressed out 'cause of havin' to look after me this time, but...

[He didn't even realize there were tears going down his face. He didn't feel the usual choked up sensation in his throat or even burning in his eyes. They just started with that frighteningly blank stare that was recalling the last few months.]

He changed. He changed so much and I kept sayin' "talk to me when you're ready", but when he finally did ask me somethin'... when he asked why I didn't wanna know about our past I kinda-- I didn't mean to blow him off but I did. Like we can't ever agree on anythin' ever, even shit that should be easy.

I fucked up. I fucked up so bad! I just wanted things to be like when we were little but Yukio didn't even look like himself when I broke him out!

[ It was a lot more of an outburst than she was prepared for, but she wasn't going to leave him like this. There really wasn't anything she could think of to say to this, though. Instead of saying anything, she moved to wrap both arms around him and hug him tightly.

He clearly needed to get this out ... And she was glad she could be there for him. She'd be here for him as long as he needed her to be. ]

[Before she hugs him, Ayame senses her new dad's distress and puts her tiny paws on his chest, stretching up to lick at his salty cheek. He doesn't completely snap out of it, but he gains enough sense back to the present that he rubs at his wet eyes with a sniffle.

The embrace helped more, though it also urged further tears and a bit of hiccuping out of him. He had cried a little after explaining the situation to his friends, but there had been so much trapped inside, both before the breakout and after arriving here with the last words from Yukio being ones of disdain for his big brother.

His chest ached and the uncertainty of what he'd be going back to was worse than some of the most extreme pain he'd felt in his life. His shoulders shook hard as he hugged Kohaku back, careful not to trap Ayame in between them.]

[ She was surprised that he hugged her back, but she was glad he did. She still stays silent, pressing her forehead against the side of his head and gently rubbing his back as he let everything out. Kohaku could tell that he had been holding all of this in for a while, and while it hurt her heart to hear him cry, she knew it was good for him to do so. ]

[It hurt to cry about it, like some part of him was just giving up before the situation was even resolved. He had held it in not because he didn't want to seem weak, but because he felt like it was resignation. Like doing so was admitting he had no idea how to get his brother back, or if he ever would.

But it also hurt to keep it in that long, pretending like there wasn't this huge weight on him that he could do nothing about here.

Eventually the tears did stop, leaving him red faced and a bit of a mess, with Ayame curled in his lap under his fingers as she purred softly in hopes of comforting him.]

Sorry...

Don't apologize.

[ She smiles at him, brushing away some of his bangs from his face. ]

It's okay to cry when things aren't okay. I don't mind being the shoulder you cry on if you need it.

Doesn't fix anythin', though...

[But he couldn't fix anything here anyway. All of the problems were back home, and who knew when he'd be able to return like so many others had.

He didn't want to leave his friends here, of course, but he didn't want to leave things unfinished, either.]

I wish I'd just... listened to him when he needed me to...

[ She understands that. She's made some good friends here, but .... She also had unfinished business back home that she still thought about constantly. ]

I'm sure you'll find a way to make things work back home ... Even if it takes a while.

I know I haven't known you for very long, but ... I feel like we're both pretty similar in that we can't just let things go and not do everything we can to make a difference.

[ Shing was like that, too. He couldn't just sit by and let things happen when he could have done something to make it better.

And she didn't know if he was okay back home or not ... For all she knew, he could be dead from the attack Creed had sent at him. ]

That's... why I went after him. I couldn't just leave him there.

[Yukio wasn't happy with Rin's actions, of course, but that didn't stop him from doing it.]

God, I got a headache now...

That happens. Want me to try a healing arte to see if it helps the pain a little?

[ There wasn't a lot she could do for emotional pain, but physical pain was something she had some experience with helping. ]

[Better that then simply suffering through it, really. He gives a nod, putting his hands on Ayame so he won't be tempted to rub at his head in annoyance.]

[ Okay then. She's not sure if healing artes work on headaches, but it was worth a try. It wouldn't really hurt anything if it didn't work.

She quickly chants the heal spell and sits back a little as it does its thing.

Does it work, Rin? ]

[Well, headaches tend to be inflammation of nerves, which is a type of injury in a way. It doesn't react perfectly to her healing the way a wound or burn or other such thing would, but he does feel less like his head is going to pulse right in to exploding.

He lets out a relieved sigh, smiling tiredly.]

Thanks...

No problem. I don't like it when my friends are hurting.

[ She will force heals on you if she has to. ]

I mean, it's just a headache...

[Why must you fuss over him so.]

Does it really matter how big or small the pain is?

[ Srsly dude. ]

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