 t's very, very cold. It's cold enough that you'll see your breath fog in the air before you, that goosebumps appear on your arms and legs and a chill goes up your spine. You're inside, in a huge palace with sweeping arches and rooms, but it's no real shelter from the cold -- it's just as cold inside as out.
There's a throne room, a kitchen, various rooms and even a dungeon to be explored -- and outside, a frigid, frozen garden, a lake that's naturally frozen over, and miles, and miles of snow as far as the eye can see.
But be careful while you explore. The snowflake soldiers are naturally dangerous, but even more dangerous than that...there's that creeping sensation of numbness going up your arm, a pang through your chest, and the slow, slow freezing from the inside out.
Try not to leave any of your friends behind, okay? Even if they might look a bit too uncannily like some of the statues hanging around for decoration when they're frozen over.
Welcome to Awash's fourteenth event log, everyone! Further information on this event can be found here at the OOC post. You are welcome to make your own logs for this event, but please keep in mind the lack of laptop function during this event when it comes to forum posts!
If there are any questions, please ask them here. Thank you! |
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closed to cairngorm
This is the first morning where anything is different. The hour he usually arrives at to greet them passes. Lupin knows he should get up and go. He's having a hard time understanding why he's so determined to do this - it feels pointless, especially with his leg in the condition it's in and the cold gnawing at his marrow - but the seed of that emotion is planted deeply enough that its roots can still reach his heart even as the mirror shard edges into it alongside them. It takes time to summon the energy to move. Just Cairngorm, he decides, as a way of convincing himself; he can just go check on Cairngorm today, and then he can go lay down by the fire again. It feels especially important to see them; again, the reason why is just out of his reach, but the urge remains.
To his credit, he makes it impressively far for a man on the verge of freezing solid. He almost reaches the room he knows they were staying in last night - almost. But he never enters; instead, there's a heavy and unnatural clunk from the hallway outside as he collapses to the ground with a sound more reminiscent of a statue than a human. ]
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Still, it's weird that Lupin didn't come before they woke up today. Even with his strange behavior, he's been coming right around the time they start to stir... today is different. They're wide awake, and there's no sign of him - for someone who lives as routinized of a life as they do, any change to a pattern is an immediate red flag. Just as they're about to consider the idea of going to look for him, they hear that clunk from outside and jolt up to investigate, thinking it must be a gem, or a knight.
What they see is obviously not either of those things. For as fast as they bolted out at the sound, they're stuck in place when they see him, their shocked and distantly horrified expression making them seem as though they're the one that's frozen. ]
Lupin...?
[ After their slight bout of horror, their first instinct is to go kneel beside him, looking more genuinely concerned than they ever let show. When he doesn't show any sign of answering, they seem to be panicking slightly, uncharacteristic of someone who puts up as stoic of a front as Cairngorm. First things first, they're looking around for someone who could have caused this; when they find no perpetrator, they switch gears to gently turning his body over so they can see his face.
He's so...solid. It's ice; they know the feeling well. What they do from here seems routine— like any sane gem, they start checking for cracks or pieces of him that might have broken off when he fell. While their gloved hands are deft as they run them against his arms, chest, and face, the intense worry in their expression doesn't fade, even when their search is turning up no damage. ]
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He's not sad about it. He views the situation the same way he might view a stranger's obituary - it's depressing, but far away, and Lupin doesn't dwell on it for more than a moment. Seeing Cairngorm come over at least gives him a small sense of accomplishment: he did what he came here to do. Mixed with it is an awareness in the back of his mind that it's not good that they look so upset, a memory of making that promise that he wouldn't die, but it's like he's recalling someone else's feelings.
Not that he could react even if he wanted to. Even their touching him elicits nothing. It's as they say: he's like a block of ice, right down to his eyes, staring ahead at nothing. ]
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You’re such a fool. “No matter what happens to me, I’ll come back to you”, huh...
[ They look pained as they say this. Lonely, like they’d hinted they would be. ]
What would you do if I was your enemy? Anyone could shatter you like this. You think you can get out of everything, that everything will always work out, without thinking of how little time you have left already... I can’t stand that about you.
[ Why is this all pouring out now? They don’t even seem very angry with him, just sad and disappointed. This is what it feels like to be scared to lose someone, right? It’s a sick feeling. Their understanding of magic and the supernatural is already so weak; they can’t understand if this means he’s dead or otherwise. With a heavy sigh, they press a hand to the center of his chest, frowning at the lack of a pulse. ]
I don’t even know if this will work...
[ They mumble. It takes a few seconds to resign themself to this, but they want him to live, above all else, maybe more than anything else. So they have to try. Without another word, ever so carefully, they lean over so they can press their lips to his with a soft clink. Its kind of awkward, if only because their understanding of how to kiss someone properly is still limited to what they’ve seen and read in books, but the kiss is gentle nonetheless, probably too gentle for their abrasive personality. And it lasts too long for their avoidant ways, too - they stay pressed there for one, two, three seconds before pulling away (they have to be sure that if it’s going to work, it’ll work on the first try, afterall). Even so, they keep a hand pressed to the center of his chest for any sign of a heartbeat, pulling back just far enough so they can look at his face (do they look desperate? they’re not thinking of concealing anything right now) for some evidence of change. ]
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Until it does.
There's a sharp intake of air through his nose, followed by a shallow cough and then a particularly deep breath - as one might expect from someone whose heart suddenly started beating again. Lupin squishes his eyes shut; the numbness begins to evaporate from his limbs, but slowly, leaving him laying there limply in Cairngorm's arms for a little while longer. The numbness in his mind is another story. That's gone in a flash, and all of the emotions he should have been feeling a moment ago come crashing in at once as he tries to process what just happened.
Holy hell, Cairngorm really just kissed him. ]
Your lips are really cold, [ is the first thing he says, with a lame little laugh, before feebly lifting one hand to cover his eyes. For once, he's the one who can't quite manage eye contact. The color's returning to his skin, and apparently going straight to his cheeks first. ]
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I doubt they were colder than yours probably were a moment ago.
[ There’s a cut-off sigh after they speak, and they close their eyes for a moment, too. Why is he commenting on that in the first place? Did he feel it— or even worse, hear anything they said? Why is he covering his face like that, and is that flush from the cold, or....? Ugh. They can’t even begin to think of all of that; they really need to focus on the task at hand.
If it weren’t for how limp he seems, they’d retract their hands from him because of that same natural chill they have that they’ve come to be aware of around humans - but they keep their hands where they are instead, if only to support him. His heartbeat is... fast. Is that normal? Is he still dying? Those are the kinds of questions they should be thinking of. Everything aside, they’re still on edge. Not that they want him to notice. ]
Are you— warmer now?
[ The answer to that will quell a lot of their worries. ]
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Later, because Lupin's head is still spinning over the fact that Cairngorm just kissed him, yes, in that order - this certainly wasn't anything like he'd imagined their first kiss would go, and he's got half a mind to say as much straight out, prevented only by the knowledge that they did it because they wanted to save his life and not because they were overwhelmed with feelings for him at seeing him on the verge of death. Probably. A vague sense of dissatisfaction brews in the pit of his stomach beneath the butterflies. He wants to know where they learned that whole kissing thing, first of all... ]
I'm... yeah. [ uncharacteristically ineloquent for him. He rubs his temples a bit, then lets his hand drop so he can see their face properly. Cute, as always, and distinctly not-flustered, unlike him, which he takes some issue with. The feeling's coming back to his fingers, but he immediately slows down that process by urging his arm up again so he can touch his hand to their cheek. Because he has to do something, after that. ] You saved me, huh...
[ he's not used to that. But he doesn't mind it, either. He smirks, tired yet playful, still red-cheeked. ] You little minx.
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Is that something you should be calling the gem that just saved your life?
[ That’s half rhetorical and half they-really-don’t-know-what-that-word-means. They huff, unable to keep eye-contact after seeing his playful smirk and the blush that came with it. It doesn’t help that a subtle hint of color is coming into their face, too. All they can glean from how he’s acting now is that he’s teasing them somehow, which is only atypical in the sense that they feel more pleased than pissed off about it like usual. They find themself overly happy that he’s better, and moreso that its because of them that he is. This is also a side of him they’ve never seen, and they have to wonder how much of it is because of them specifically and not the magic. Maybe that’s why their responses lack their usual bite — at least for now, while they’re decompressing from the thought of being unable to bring him back at all.
They’re tempted to point out that he just complained about how cold they are, and now he’s touching them anyway, but that’ll probably prompt him to let go of them sooner. They do slide their hand off his chest, knowing the cold is likely seeping through, but they don’t make any motion to move his hand from their cheek, not yet. Of course they don’t want it to harm him, but he’s not stupid (mostly), and there’s a certain comfort in feeling through his touch that he’s here and alive. Not that they’re letting that get pried out of them. ]
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[ he teases, as if he hadn't just been turned to ice, or lost most of his emotions for the past few days - quite frankly, it's hard to concentrate on that right now. Lupin's a clever long-term thinker who never forgets his focus. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be a successful master thief. But he's also still young and boyish at heart, with a penchant for romance, and so while he hasn't forgotten about the situation (and his own, in particular), he's preoccupied with thoughts of Cairngorm, and kissing Cairngorm.
At least those thoughts are his own this time. It's frustrating that this has happened twice now - the two of them, forced onto one another by outside means, muddling the boundaries of their relationship in ways that leave both of them confused. Happy as he may be about what just happened, that dissatisfaction sitting in him like a lead weight only grows. If Cairngorm's going to kiss him, he wants them to do it on their own terms, not to break some curse. The teasing serves another purpose, then: to smooth things over, to keep things light, to try and keep them from feeling too uncomfortable. ]
... But you did save me. Thanks, Cairngorm.
[ still, he's selfish; he wants to bask in this moment just a little bit. Their cheek is quite literally cold as ice, and his fingers are losing sensation again even through his gloves, but he doesn't care. They're not swatting him away. So he doesn't move, either, gently tracing their cheekbone with the pad of his thumb and wondering at the way their skin darkens ever-so-slightly (are they blushing?) The strength to move and sit up has returned to him by now, but he doesn't want to leave this quite yet. If he weren't a gentleman, he'd kiss them back, he thinks. ]
... Gems probably don't do that much, do they? [ kissing, that is, but he's sensitive enough not to say it outright. ] Sorry. Hopefully, it wasn't too bad.
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We don't. But it's fine. [ When he strokes his thumb across their cheek, they let themself lean into it the slightest bit, more than they had allowed themself last time, and they bring their hand to hold his against their face. ] I thought I might chip you or something, but I guess you're okay...
[ They glance at his lips for half a second to make sure there's no bruise there or anything. It's too bad, really. Kissing him when he was more gem-like than anything else made their curiosity about what it would be like to kiss him normally even worse than it was previous to this, but that's something they absolutely have to keep to themself, especially right now. It might have seemed for a moment that they were responding positively to that affection he was giving them (and they were, on their own terms), but in the next moment, they're gently using that hand holding his to pull it away from their face. They know now what it feels like to touch something so cold, and it's not pleasant; they're not selfish enough to continue indulging. ]
It's your hand that's gonna get hurt if you keep touching me. [ Slowly, and reluctantly, they let go of him. ] I didn't save you so you could freeze over again, you know.
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And if I don't care that it hurts?
[ Lupin can only take so much. He wants them to let themself want him. He ignores the burning sensation of cold in his hand, slipping his fingers through Cairngorm's before they can escape; with his other hand, he pushes himself up into something closer to sitting, belying that his condition's healed up much quicker than he was letting on, and at once he's looking down into their eyes with a gaze both ardent and defiant. This isn't the time or the place to make his move - he knows they're still trapped in this palace, and he knows he needs to handle his current ailment, and he heard what they said about the little time he has left and knows that's a hurdle to be cleared, too - but he can at least give them a hint to ponder over. A calling card, perhaps. ]
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Then... you're a fool.
[ He is, for trying to get close to them, and for putting himself through pain just to touch them. It doesn't make any sense, and his behavior towards them in general never has. How he's always making them seem more than they are, taking risks for them that he doesn't need to; they've never understood why he'd ever go to such a length for them. But looking at the issue in the eye, it's because he cares that much, right? It's a scary thought to let themself even consider, but they can't really deny the (increasingly likely) possibility when he pulls a stunt like this.
Trying to grapple with that— hurts, in a bittersweet way. And there's nowhere to run, not like this. They look down at their joined hands, and watch themself as they make the motion to grip back gently, feeling his still slightly quickened pulse against their palm. ]
You should care.
[ They squeeze his hand deliberately, both because of the storm of emotions they're feeling, and because they have a desire to elicit some sort of negative reaction out of him from the cold to prove their point. When they meet his eyes again, their own gaze is every bit as defiant as his. ]
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[ and what kind of gentleman thief would he be if he wasn't willing to hurt a little for love? His brow furrows just a little as he endures the frosty squeeze of their hand, but that's the only satisfaction Cairngorm will get from him. Lupin's insufferably stubborn, and unwaveringly serious about making this point clear. They're worth hurting for. Even if they don't think so, they can't stop him from believing it. The fierceness in their eyes sparks a fire in his veins, makes him want to prove it to them.
But for now, he simply leans down enough to brush his lips over their fingers, just as he'd done after they'd danced all those months ago, before unlacing his fingers from theirs as much as they'll allow. His legs are still shaky, but he's going to at least attempt to stand up on his own. ]
Now, then... we've still got a castle to crack and some curses to break, don't we?
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But they let him go, brushing their hand against their own cheek as if to get rid of the lingering feeling there from his kiss. Like usual, it's pleasant in a soft way, which of course means they need to spend as little time thinking about it as possible. ]
You're a little late to get involved in that. [ Whatever. They're a champion at burying whatever they need to in order to continue functioning, and if he wants to try and be a tough guy and stand up on his own, then fine. They move to stand too, not holding a hand out for him. ] But if you're going to go around "curse breaking", don't expect consistent results.
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Urgh. I feel like I got trampled by a horse... I guess that's still better than getting smashed to pieces.
[ grumble, grumble. none of his predictions were right, but he's glad that one in particular didn't come through. He does his best to shoo away the lingering warm bubbly feelings towards his companion, concentrating on what he should do next, and also on rubbing some circulation back into his poor arms and hands. Their comment, however, gives him some pause, and he raises an eyebrow at them. ]
What do you mean? It doesn't always work...?
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[ At least, that's what they assume to be the reason for why there's still so many people freezing terribly. Cairngorm had done what they could to tell people what they thought was the solution; that doesn't mean that that solution works on everybody, or there isn't some hidden variable that also needs to be met for it to work. Given the track record of this place, and based on the text, they'd assumed it would only work for people they knew personally, which is why they haven't gone around kissing every frozen statue they've seen (and also because that's very weird). They don't understand the full picture, and they're fine with admitting that.
Either way, they don't look at him as he stumbles, nor as they continue to speak. ]
It worked when I did it for Phos, too, but it's not like I know what kind of requirements have to be met for it to fix things. I just assume there has to be something, or else this would have been solved days ago.
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So you kissed Phos, too, huh...
[ obviously, he knows it was to save them, and obviously, he would do the same thing for any of his friends here, too; he doesn't for a moment hold it against either of them. Still, he can't keep a sliver of disappointment from slipping into his voice. Lupin presses on, hoping it wasn't too noticeable. ]
It probably has to do with your bond with that person. Did you see what Dex posted to the network a while back? He and Guren got in and out of the forest unscathed thanks to their relationship. That, plus the way they're always trying to make us work together... They want us to get close to each other, though I can't imagine why.
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[ He seems... slightly let down, so they don't mention that they had kissed Lottie too in explicit terms. That barely noticeable sliver of disappointment is puzzling. Of course they're aware kissing is supposed to be something intimate, but they didn't expect him to show any sign of displeasure at the idea of them kissing someone else, especially when he just said he's going to go off and do the same thing.
Hmm. They let it pass without comment like he wants it to; if they were in a different mood, they might have brought up that last point verbally. They didn't exactly think they had the right to be disappointed or feel any type of way about it, but maybe they do. ]
Like I said, I don't know. All I'm saying is be prepared for it not to work as well as it did on you.
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Whatever. He'll make up for this later, he decides. There's plenty of time to do things right. Lupin thinks that the bond has to be a little bit closer than "someone you know personally" - going ahead and saying "it's probably only people you really care for" might put them in an embarrassing spot, though. ]
Still, it's better than nothing - and the only clue we've gotten so far on getting out of here, too. Going around and kissing a whole bunch of people isn't a very gentlemanly activity, but I suppose I'll endure it. [ ... ] ... After I get warmed up.
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Either way. They're not going to act out on a feeling they don't completely understand, nor do they think has a place in their current relationship. ]
I don't think anyone's going to care about manners if it saves their life...
[ They give a slightly wistful sigh, shaking their head and closing their eyes momentarily. There's a sort of awkward silence while they process the remaining thoughts in their head, which are: 1) after thinking that he might die for real, they don't really want to leave his side just yet, but 2) they really don't want to follow him around while he kisses people, as they anticipate they'll quickly become annoyed. Urgh. Maybe they should've just left him as an icicle if all this was going to make them feel so confused... ]
Well. Anyway... you're off to make another fire, then?
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[ his #Aesthetic, Cairngorm!! It's everything. And maybe he also cares because he has someone he actually wants to kiss now, and running around bestowing his affection on strangers while nurturing that feeling is even less gentlemanly. His inclination for heroism and helping others outweighs his inclination towards the romantic only slightly. (Wow, I've gotten pretty serious about Cairngorm, he briefly notes inwardly, and wonders if they'd thought half as much about the whole kissing thing as he is right now. That would be nice.)
Unfazed by the awkward lapse in conversation - perhaps because he's still a bit lost in his own head - Lupin nods. ]
Yeah, I think so. I don't feel like I'm trapped in a block of ice anymore, but I'm still cold - I'd better not test my luck. [ he pauses, looking at Cairngorm a bit curiously. The two of them just shared their first kiss; it would be weird for him to just run off, wouldn't it? Besides, if they separate, both of them might end up wandering off to go do the same thing with other people, instead, and he finds himself opposed to the idea at the moment, life-saving or not. There are plenty of other townspeople around that could kiss those in need... ] Come with me? With the way I am now, I could use backup if one of those snow knights starts chasing after me.
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Not going to complain about me babying you?
[ Of course, "backup" here to them translates to they'd be protecting him; they don't think he's quite as quick on his feet as he usually is with how cold he must be. They remember it being quite hard to move when they were that cold, and even without that, they've yet to see Lupin face off against someone in a fight, so they have little idea of his capabilities. After a feigned pause of contemplation, they look back to him. ]
...Well, alright. [ They'll keep their agreement subtle and restrained, not wanting to let on that this is how they wanted things to go. ] My inclusions need the light, regardless.
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I'm not so big-headed I can't recognize when I need help. [ usually. ] Besides, like you said earlier, I wouldn't want to waste your efforts.
[ getting knocked off by a snow knight after that heart-pounding rescue would really be a shame. So he beckons them after him, setting off towards some place a little safer to rest in. ]
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You're right about that. That would be a waste...
[ They follow after him, their unnatural footsteps echoing against the ice distinctly. ]
They are pretty easy to outrun, though. I'm much faster on this terrain than those things. [ They're trained to run and jump on the ice, after all. It'll be super easy to just carry Lupin to safety, or throw him out of the way if trouble arises. Even though he didn't like that much the first time. ] We won't have to fight any of them.
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Or run. He glances over at them, raising an eyebrow. ]
What? Don't tell me you're planning on picking me up like a sack of potatoes and running off with me.
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